King Janaka
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What are celebs and what is King Janaka?

Hello celeb, here's some information to make you shiver and decide for yourself whether you've got the guts to meet Zil Chezero. And okay, hi there, you normal, not famous, everyday-kind-of-guy/girl reader! Here's some information before you're told that this section is not for you.

Zil has a special interest in celebs. He is willing to meet them if they pay him enough to do so. This has - apart from the money - two reasons. The first is that in terms of spiritual wealth, they actually are poor sods. Pity on them. The second reason is that they are more likely to crack under the hoofs of Zil. Let's hear him explain:

“Celebs are what I consider a special challenge. To kick off: celebs are fantastically stupid. More than that, they are the most self-righteous and stubborn sons of bitches that can be found in mulekind. As such they make great material for this mule's hoofs: the more resistance, the better these hoofs hit home. And now for the best part: celebs are used to being admired themselves and come to me because they experience the emptiness and filth of that admiration every day. As such they are less inclined to start admiring me and if they do it anyway, their own situation is mirrored in it immediately. All these traits together make them incredible material.

Better than us...

Way better. They are bored with admiration - yet need it. Coming to me, they want 'everydayness' on the one hand and cling to their 'specialness' on the other. Which means with them there is ass all around to kick! They are circular ass, so to speak. And what's more: wherever you hit them, they are much more bound to crack than persistent admirers like you guys.

And that's good news for them, because the rich and famous, in terms of freedom and full view - are in fact poor sods. It looks like a glorious life for a glorious ego, but it isn't. You can recognize the force-feeding of celebs by the fact that they don't like it at all anymore - yet see no chance to stop the feeding. They suffer, and many die from it. It seems that they choose to feed, but every celeb with some insight into the circumstances will be able to tell you that it is really the fame, wealth and power that impose themselves on them.”

King Janaka

Poor celebs! And to make it worse, contemporary celebs are even more to pity if you compare them to King Janaka:

“...with Janaka we're talking, as I might like to remind you, about a super celeb. Nowadays celebs are sissy celebs. Which means they are fundamentally less celeb than King Janaka.

For instance, showbiz celebs have to be granted their status by their fans and work for it and have to buy their status from everyone else. That's sissy adoration, nothing like the hardcore veneration stuff you get from somebody when you can get him killed by a wink of the eye.

This King Janaka really was what you would call a celeb. One of a type that is not around anymore. He was not a sissy celeb that only thrives on fame and money. No, next to fame and money he also could lean comfortably on hereditary praise combined with real wieldable absolute power! The dictator kind we would nowadays say, but imagine being a dictator in a time where absolute power was expected from you and, if wielded, would in general be approved of doing so too? No international tribunes, no U.N. condemnations? Not a clue of having a bad conscience about it?”


But there's hope for our celebs, hope that's symbolized by King Janaka. Zil says:

“I got this notion reading the Ashtavakra Gita, starring this royal mule King Janaka. It's one of the great texts of the Vedas, and rightly so. Apart from the usual raving on about it, what he's raving on about is satisfyingly close to nothing to thoroughly enjoy it anyway. Well, this King Janaka really was what you would call a celeb.

He summoned Ashtavakra, a heavily handicapped poor sucker of a guru to free him. Just like that: 'gimme a guru, I'm bored with this life'. Can you imagine? Stands quite a chance, doesn't he?

I wouldn't give a dime for this king...

Neither would I. But as you can guess, we wouldn't remember this Gita through the ages if he hadn't become free, would we?

No, eh... we wouldn't. So how...

...did he do it? How he did it is not the point. The point is that he did it. The mere fact of it. This mere fact means that there's hope for the poor sods of this time: the currently rich and famous. I tell them: King Janaka did it! So can you! That's the message.”

So dear by-this-time-probably-angry everyday-kind-of-guy/girl reader, don't be pissed off too much by being left out. Just pity them celebs and feel superior!

Done that? Great feeling? Fine. Now bugger off, because from here on it's celebs only on this section.

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